超级搞笑的说说 笑到肚子疼的句子

1．要想一个人对你念念不忘，最好的办法就是向他借钱，然后不还。

1. The best way to keep a person's mind on you is to borrow money from him and then don't pay it back.

 笑到肚子疼的句子

2．原谅捧钱的我一路狂奔只为吃东西。

2. Forgive me for running all the way to eat.

3．穷怎么了？穷就应该被嘲笑吗？抬头，挺胸，让大家看看，你不仅穷，还丑。

3. What's wrong with being poor? Should poverty be laughed at? Head up, chest up, let's see, you are not only poor, but also ugly.

4．自从我变成了狗屎，就再也没有人踩在我头上了。

4. Since I became shit, no one has stepped on my head.

5．数学证明题无非两种，一种是卧槽，这还用证明，另一种是卧槽，这也能证明。

5. There are no more than two kinds of mathematical proof problems, one is the horizontal groove, which is also proved by using proof, the other is the horizontal groove, which can also be proved.

6．对于光棍来说情人节就像大姨妈，来一次痛一次。

6. For singles, Valentine's Day is like a great aunt. It hurts once.

7．晚上被我妈揪去相亲，一进饭店就傻了！这尼玛是我初一时候的初恋好吗！然后就装作不认识。她爹夸我：这小伙子不错！一看就是个好男孩儿！我想说：叔叔您不认识我了呀！想当年你饶操场追着打我说臭小子就你敢勾搭我女儿？你在勾搭信不信我打断你狗腿！这下好了吧！到最后还是乖乖给我送过来了！

7. I was picked up by my mother to have a blind date in the evening. I was stupid when I entered the hotel! This NIMA is my first love, OK! Then I pretend I don't know each other. Her father praised me: this young man is good! A good boy at first sight! I want to say: uncle, you don't know me! Think that when you ran after me and beat me, you dare to hook up with my daughter? Are you hooking up believe it or not? I'll break your dogleg! All right! At the end of the day, I'm still here!

8．现在再找白马王子，你out了，现在都找宝马王子。

8. Now find prince charming. You're out. Now you're all looking for Prince BMW.

9．你我之间本无缘分，全靠我颜值死撑。

9. There is no predestination between you and me. It depends on my beauty.

10．以后一定要对男朋友好一点，毕竟他是这个世界上眼光最好的人。

10. Be nice to your boyfriend in the future. After all, he is the most discerning person in the world.

11．其实表白未必是件好事，因为那样显得手黑。

11. In fact, confession is not necessarily a good thing, because it seems to be hand black.

12．前一阵在微信上摇到个妹子，网名叫三长两短。开始有点纳闷，怎么取这么晦气的名字，不过也没在意。聊了一段时间后，感觉不错，携手去开房。第二天，再看这姑娘的网名，变成了三长三短。

12. A while ago, I got a girl on wechat. Her net name is "three long and two short". I began to wonder how to take such a bad name, but I didn't care. After chatting for a while, I feel good. Let's open the house hand in hand. The next day, look at this girl's Internet name, it becomes three long and three short.

13．因为你有双下巴，所以遇到任何困难都不能低头。

13. Because you have a double chin, you can't bow your head in any difficulty.

14．我在马路边捡到10块钱，把它交到网管帅哥手里面，帅哥拿着钱，对我把头点，我高兴的说了声，冲个会员。

14. I found 10 yuan by the side of the road and handed it to the handsome webmaster. The handsome man took the money and nodded to me. I said happily and rushed to a member.

15．我听到女孩子对我说过最狠的一句话就是：你都不值得我为你洗头！

15. I heard that the cruelest thing a girl said to me was: you are not worth washing your hair!

16．运动会过后，有些人拿了名次，而有些人变成了表情包。

16. After the sports meeting, some people took the place, while some became expression packs.

17．现在都喊自己丑，一爆照来美成狗；都说自己是学渣，却把考试虐成渣；整日叹息乐感差，唱起K来成麦霸。

17. Now they all call themselves ugly. When they burst into light, they will become dogs. When they say they are learning scum, they will turn the exam into scum. When they sigh all day, they will become MAC by singing K.

18．像我这么帅的，一旷课就会被发现。

18. Handsome as I am, I will be found when I am absent from class.

19．我这种单纯的人，哪会做数学那种富有心计的题。

19. I'm such a simple person, how can I do such a scheming problem as mathematics.

20．人的潜能是可以激发的，100斤石头我可能拎不动，如果100斤人民币~我保证！抗起来就跑~

20. People's potential can be stimulated. I may not be able to carry 100jin stone. If 100jin RMB ~ I promise! Fight and run~