经典搞笑说说大全 亮瞎你的双眼

1．我好像对纸过敏，每次做作业都难受。

1. I seem to be allergic to paper. I feel sick every time I do my homework.

经典搞笑说说大全

2．那些拧不开瓶盖的女生其实都是装的，你让她拆个快递试试，都不用剪子。

2. Those girls who can't open the bottle cap are actually loaded. You ask her to open an express delivery and try it without scissors.

3．你我之间本无缘分，全靠我的颜值死撑。

3. There is no predestination between you and me. It depends on my beauty.

4．学校食堂完美诠释了什么叫拖堂两分钟，排队两小时。

4. The school canteen perfectly interprets the meaning of two minutes of waiting and two hours of queuing.

5．老板在摇椅上睡着了，老板娘还给他捶腿，瞬间感到好恩爱，我不忍心打扰他们，轻轻地拿了两罐旺仔走了。

5. The boss fell asleep in the rocking chair, and his mother beat his leg back. I felt very kind at the moment. I couldn't bear to disturb them. I took two cans of Wangzai gently and left.

6．数学其实十分简单，只是剩下那90分很难。

6. Mathematics is very simple, but the remaining 90 points are very difficult.

7．也许过几年有人见面寒暄会说：你的孩子是我在朋友圈里看着长大的。

7. Maybe in a few years, someone will say: your child is growing up in my circle of friends.

8．偷拍我可以，但我警告你，要用美颜相机。

8. I can take a snapshot, but I warn you to use a beauty camera.

9．别人同学的照片都能当壁纸，而我同学的照片只能当表情包。

9. Other students' photos can be wallpaper, while my classmates' photos can only be expression packs.

10．有人说，当你发现自己喜欢的人也喜欢自己的时候比中了五百万还开心，可我还是更喜欢中五百万。

10. Some people say that when you find that the people you like also like yourself, you are happier than winning 5 million, but I still prefer winning 5 million.

11．为了当年你那句保重，这么多年我一直没瘦。

11. In order to take care of your words, I haven't lost weight for so many years.

12．非诚勿扰女嘉宾再牛也就灭一个男生的灯，男生宿舍楼下阿姨能灭一整楼的。

12. If you are the one to disturb the female guests, you can turn off a boy's lamp. The aunt downstairs of the boy's dormitory can turn off the whole floor.

13．为什么作业这么多老师任性，我们认命

13. Why do so many homework teachers have willfulness? We have to accept our fate

14．世界上有两种生物会趴玻璃，一种是壁虎，一种是班主任。

14. There are two kinds of creatures in the world, one is gecko and the other is head teacher.

15．今天在路上玩手机，撞到一个老外，我说了句Fuck，老外同时说了句卧槽，然后我俩都看了对方一眼，默默的走了。

15. Today, I ran into a foreigner while playing with my mobile phone on the road. I said "fuck" and "sleeper slot" at the same time. Then we both looked at each other and walked away silently.

16．你本该比任何人都优秀，但你拥有一部手机。

16. You should be better than anyone, but you have a mobile phone.

17．你说，你喜欢我？！其实我一开始其实我也唉，跟你说了吧，其实我也挺喜欢我的。

17. You say, you like me?! In fact, at the beginning of my life, I was also alas. Let me tell you, in fact, I also like mine.

18．我只想优雅转身，不料华丽撞墙。

18. I just want to turn around gracefully, but it's gorgeous.

19．近视眼是种什么体验？整个世界都是马赛克

19. What kind of experience is myopia? The whole world is mosaic

20．有一大妈上了空调车，投一块钱。司机看着她说：两块啊。大妈点点头回答说：嗯，凉快！司机又说：投两块！大妈笑着说：小伙子，不光头凉快，浑身都凉快！说完大妈往车厢后头走，司机说：钱投两块，大妈说：后头更凉快！

20. A mother got into an air-conditioned car and invested one yuan. The driver looked at her and said, "two.". She nodded and said, "well, cool!"! The driver said: two! Aunt said with a smile: young man, not only the head cool, cool all over! With that, she went to the back of the carriage. The driver said, "two yuan for money, and she said," cooler back! "!