幽默语录大全 笑掉大牙的签名句子

1．一般长的好看的妹子撒个娇就能搞定的事，我都得靠威胁。

1. I have to rely on threats to deal with things that can be solved by a pretty girl.

笑掉大牙的签名句子

2．公交车上我频频看你，你频频看我，我对你一见钟情，而你却紧紧捂着钱包。

2. I look at you frequently on the bus. You look at me frequently. I fall in love with you at first sight, but you hold your wallet tightly.

3．数学其实十分简单，只是另外的90分很难。

3. Mathematics is very simple, but the other 90 points are very difficult.

4．课多的像妓女，我每天只管上，都不知道名字。

4. Many classes are like prostitutes. I just attend them every day and I don't know their names.

5．当你的自拍怎么都找不到好看的角度的时候，你就必须认识到你本人比照片好看这件事了。

5. When you can't find a good-looking angle in your selfie, you must realize that you look better than the photo.

6．我捡了个神灯，许愿死前能找到对象，结果我获得了永生。

6. I picked up a magic lamp and made a wish to find the object before I died. As a result, I got eternal life.

7．心狠手辣的我，添了手指被辣哭了。

7. I am ruthless. My fingers are hot and I cry.

8．你说洋葱很神奇，是蔬果中唯一能叫人流泪的，我不想否认你，但上次被榴莲砸到脚我也是哭了一天。

8. You say that onions are magical. They are the only vegetables and fruits that can make people cry. I don't want to deny you, but I cried a day when I was hit by durian last time.

9．新学期谁再敢打扰我学习，我就和他一起玩。

9. Whoever dares to disturb my study in the new semester, I will play with him.

10．一般喜欢讲黄段子的女生都很漂亮为什么？因为她们必须要自己美丽的外表来掩盖自己猥琐的内心。

10. Generally speaking, girls who like to tell pornographic stories are very beautiful. Why? Because they have to have their own beautiful appearance to cover up their dirty heart.

11．你真的有过真心的等一个人吗？有啊！谁昂？公交车司机

11. Have you ever really waited for someone? Yes! Who's Ang? Bus driver

12．每次想你的时候，那画面全是马赛克。

12. Every time I miss you, the picture is full of mosaics.

13．我就喜欢看社会姐，从初中高中混得超牛逼到长大后当服务员洗碗工发传单的励志故事。

13. I like watching the inspirational story of social sister, from being a super girl in junior high school to being a waiter when I grow up, dishwasher and flyer.

14．今天天气很好，在房间里待久了，准备去客厅里散散心。

14. It's a fine day today. I've been in the room for a long time, and I'm going to go to the living room to relax.

15．数学是最浪漫的，它比世上任何东西都要完美，它从不说谎，不会背叛，也不会及格。

15. Mathematics is the most romantic. It is more perfect than anything in the world. It never lies, betrays or passes.

16．如果你对你老婆不好，就别怪我对你老婆太好。隔壁老王

16. If you are not good to your wife, don't blame me for being so good to your wife. Old Wang next door

17．别人赖床是因为有钱，想睡多晚就睡多晚。我赖床是因为没钱，能省一餐是一餐。

17. Other people stay in bed because they have money. They sleep as late as they want. I stay in bed because I don't have money. One meal saved is one meal.

18．什么是寂寞，50块钱话费6个月没用完，硬是让月租扣完了

18. What is loneliness? The telephone fee of 50 yuan hasn't been used up in 6 months, but the monthly rent is deducted

19．你在北方冻成鬼，我在南方露大腿。

19. You are frozen to be a ghost in the north, and I am exposed in the south.

20．师傅，快！帮我追上前面那辆出租车！我给你200块。司机说好嘞，拿起对讲机：喂，老张，你回来下。

20. Master, hurry up! Help me catch up with the taxi ahead! I'll give you 200 yuan. The driver said OK, pick up the walkie talkie: Hello, Lao Zhang, you come back.