2020新年最佳奇葩搞笑的说说大全

1．你不理我的时候，我就觉得你在好好学习，准备以后养我。

1. When you ignore me, I think you are studying hard and preparing to support me later.

奇葩搞笑的说说大全

2．这世上本没有脏话，作业做多了就有了。

2. There is no swearing in the world, just do more homework.

3．虽然你没有A4的腰，也没有iphone6的腿，但至少你还有一张2B的脸。

3. Although you don't have an A4 waist or an iPhone 6 leg, at least you have a 2B face.

4．我表白的方式一向简单粗暴，有时间一起睡觉。

4. My way of confession has always been simple and rough, and I have time to sleep together.

5．在学校我们，星期一是首富，星期二是土豪，星期三是平民，星期四是穷鬼，星期五就是倾家荡产。

5. In our school, Monday is the richest man, Tuesday is the local tyrant, Wednesday is the common people, Thursday is the poor, Friday is the ruin.

6．我已经掌握36种藏私房钱的方式，接下来只差钱了。

6. I have mastered 36 ways to hide private house money. Next, I only need money.

7．虽然我没书，没笔记，没上课，没复习，但是我有一颗不想挂科的心。

7. Although I have no books, no notes, no class, no review, I have a heart that I don't want to go to school.

8．我以一个过来人的身份告诉你，别过来。

8. I'll tell you as a passer-by, don't come.

9．说起我男朋友的优点，总结起来就是五个字会挑女朋友。

9. When it comes to my boyfriend's advantages, I will choose girlfriend in five words.

10．之前有个姑娘问我借钱去整容，整的挺成功，我再也认不出是谁问我借钱了。

10. Before, a girl asked me to borrow money for plastic surgery, which was very successful. I can't recognize who asked me to borrow money any more.

11．在擦肩而过的一万只小怪兽里，我只看到了你。

11. Among the ten thousand little monsters passing by, I only see you.

12．你和你女票真甜蜜上街都是手牵手我怕手一松，她就会去买东西。

12. It's so sweet for you and your female ticket to go to the street hand in hand. I'm afraid she will go shopping if her hand is loose.

13．单相思是没有结果的，比如，我爱数学。

13. Unrequited love has no result. For example, I love mathematics.

14．考完英语听力，悟出一个道理：有些话，只说给懂的人听。

14. After the examination of English listening, I realized a truth: some words are only for those who understand.

15．看到新闻说孩子被拐卖了，朋友说：孩子的妈没教孩子不要乱跑吗？我默默补刀：你妈还让你好好学习呢

15. Seeing the news that the child was abducted, my friend said: didn't the mother teach the child not to run around? I mend the knife silently: your mother still let you study hard

16．月考不给老师露两手，他还真以为自己教的挺好。

16. He didn't show his hand to the teacher in the monthly exam. He really thought he taught very well.

17．什么A4腰，B5腰的，我妈说了：小孩子没腰！

17. What A4 waist, B5 waist, my mother said: children have no waist!

18．妈的！我狠话放这里了，以后谁再打扰我学习，我就和他一起玩。

18. Shit! I'll play with him if I disturb my study.

19．我从小就怕黑，学习不好就是因为不敢看黑板。

19. I was afraid of darkness since I was a child. I couldn't study well because I didn't dare to look at the blackboard.

20．你敢搞我的马子你不是也搞了我对象我说你俩还能不能好好的下象棋

20. You dare to mess with my horse. You're not my partner. I said you two can play chess well