最新搞笑说说 搞笑语录集

1．愿有人陪你颠沛流离，而我舒舒服服窝在家里数钱。

1. I would like to have someone to accompany you and I would like to spend money at home.

2．深夜除了多愁善感，还有被手机砸脸。

2. In addition to being sentimental at night, I was also hit by my mobile phone.

3．我好怕被台风吹到别人怀里去，毕竟像我这样的，别人是肯定不会还的。

3. I'm so afraid of being carried to others' arms by typhoon. After all, people like me will definitely not return it.

搞笑语录集

4．对自己好点，能怪男朋友就别怪自己。

4. Be nice to yourself. If you can blame your boyfriend, don't blame yourself.

5．世界上没有无缘无故的爱，也没有无缘无故的恨，却TM偏偏有无缘无故的胖。

5. There is no unprovoked love or hatred in the world, but TM is fat for no reason.

6．希望手机能懂点事，不要再拉着我陪它熬夜了。

6. I hope the mobile phone can understand something. Don't drag me to stay up late with it.

7．据说脸大的人脾气一般都超好，因为脸大翻脸真的好辛苦。

7. It's said that people with big faces are usually super good tempered, because it's really hard to turn their faces around.

8．室友走了以后，就像家里猪圈的猪丢了。

8. When my roommate left, he was like a pig lost in his pigsty.

9．班主任发现班里有两个小朋友在早恋。她懒得请家长，也懒得教育，直接让两个小孩分别与班里最漂亮的萝莉和班里最帅的正太坐同桌。一周后，这对小情侣的早恋就在猜疑和嫉妒中结束了。

9. The head teacher found that there were two children in the class who were in early love. She was too lazy to invite her parents or educate them. She asked the two children to sit at the same table with the most beautiful Lori and the most handsome woman in the class. A week later, the young couple's early love ended in suspicion and jealousy.

10．这么不要脸，这么没心没肺，你的体重应该会很轻吧。

11．熬夜这事，一不小心没做好，就成了通宵。

11. Stay up late. If you don't do it well, you will stay up all night.

12．如果上帝关掉你的一扇窗，顺便也把门堵上了，有可能上帝要开空调了哦。

12. If God closes one of your windows and closes the door by the way, maybe God will turn on the air conditioner.

13．曾经梦想仗剑走天涯，后来作业太多就没去。

13. I once dreamed of going to the end of the world with a sword, but I didn't go there after too much homework.

14．我是一个善于反省自己的人，比如我反手给你一巴掌之后，我会想想自己是不是打轻了。

14. I am a person who is good at introspection. For example, after I slap you on the back hand, I will think about whether I have played lightly.

15．只要你要，只要我有，不管什么，老子都不会给你。

15. As long as you want, as long as I have, I will not give you anything.

16．不养猫猫狗狗我只养你，毕竟养猪能致富。

16. I only have you if I don't have cats and dogs. After all, raising pigs can make me rich.

17．我已经掌握了36种，藏私房钱的方法，接下来只差钱了。

17. I have mastered 36 ways to hide the private house money. Next, I only need money.

18．每次别人问路我都是瞎指的，第一是因为我根本不认识路，第二是为了给世人一个教训，不要随便相信长得好看的。

18. Every time someone asks for the way, I am blind. The first reason is that I don't know the way at all. The second reason is to teach the world a lesson. Don't believe what looks good.