可以笑死人的说说 能笑死人的说说

1．生活让你苦上一阵子，等你适应了，再让你苦上一辈子。

1. Life makes you suffer for a while. When you get used to it, you will suffer for a lifetime.

可以笑死人的说说

2．现在的人吃饱了没事干就想找个对象，而我就比较牛逼了，我吃不饱。

2. Now when people are full and have nothing to do, they want to find a partner, but I'm more aggressive and I can't eat enough.

3．好好读书，好好学习，不然以后拿什么吹牛逼。

3. Study hard and study hard, or you will be forced to boast later.

4．今天坐电梯，电梯上一个人打开一包巧克力，每个人分一个，没给我，我就伸手要了一个，他愣了一会，给了我一个，到了5楼，他们都下了，我才知道他们原来都认识。哎呀卧槽，我竟然伸手要了一个！！！

4. Today, I took the elevator. On the elevator, a person opened a bag of chocolates. Everyone divided one. I didn't give it to me, so I asked for one. He was stunned for a while and gave me one. When I got to the 5th floor, they all went down, and I knew they all knew each other. Oh, lying trough, I actually reached for one!!!

5．有梦就要坚持，闹钟响了就要赶快关掉，继续睡觉。

5. If you have a dream, you should stick to it. If the alarm goes off, you should turn it off and go to sleep.

6．鱼和熊掌不可兼得，穷与丑却能同时拥有，胖和矮还特么如影随形。

6. You can't have both fish and bear's paw, but you can have both the poor and the ugly, and the fat and the short are very close.

7．这么大冷天里，单身狗可能会升级成为汪汪碎冰冰吧。

7. In such a cold day, a single dog may be upgraded to a barking ice breaker.

8．不要看我表面上对你冷冰冰和你没啥交流，就觉得我对你并没有什么兴趣，其实，背地里我说了你很多坏话

8. Don't think I'm not interested in you if I don't have any communication with you on the surface. In fact, I've said a lot of bad things about you behind the scenes

呢。

9．我也想管你叫老公，可是我打不过你老婆。

9. I also want to call you husband, but I can't beat your wife.

10．可以触摸的痛苦是什么？就是我觉得肚子都饿扁了，可是一摸还有一坨肉。

10. What is the pain that can be touched? I feel hungry, but I still have a lump of meat.

11．拧不开瓶盖的都嫁人了，拧得开的都还在自己拧着。

11. Those who can't open the bottle cap are married. Those who can't open the bottle cap are still twisting themselves.

12．请各位家长请注意了，几天后 社会上出现了一种新型诈骗手段，骗子会伪造一份分数很低的成绩单，以校讯通、微信QQ和班主任的名义，谎称是儿女的成绩，从中挑拨离间，使得家庭严重不合， 请家长收到有关成绩的短信立即删除，不要相信。随手转发正能量。

12. Please note that in a few days, there will be a new type of fraud in the society. The swindler will forge a report card with a very low score. In the name of school iFLYTEK, wechat QQ and the head teacher, he falsely claims that it is the children's performance, which causes serious family discord. Please delete the text message about the performance received by the parents immediately. Don't believe it. Forward positive energy at will.

13．你有什么资格说我胖，你有请我吃过一顿饭吗。

13. What's your qualification to say that I'm fat? Did you invite me to have a meal.

14．常常告诫自己不要在一棵树上吊死，结果在树林里迷路了。

14. Often tell yourself not to hang on a tree, but get lost in the woods.

15．好朋友都脱单了，而我就比较厉害了，我脱发。

15. All my good friends have taken off the single, and I am more powerful. I have hair loss.

16．有时候，别人对你很冷淡，可能并不是你的问题，他也许只是不喜欢长得丑的人而已。

16. Sometimes, others are very cold to you. Maybe it's not your problem. Maybe he just doesn't like ugly people.