2018搞笑说说大全 最新搞笑签名

1．人丑就应该多读书，难怪当初我妈说我不是读书的料。

1. If you are ugly, you should read more. No wonder my mother said that I was not the material for reading.

2018搞笑说说大全

2．当我讨厌一个人的时候，如果那个人突然说喜欢我，那我就一点也不讨厌对方了，因为，我无法讨厌一个有眼光的人。

2. When I hate a person, if that person suddenly says that he likes me, I don't hate him at all, because I can't hate a person with vision.

3．你根本不爱我，你只是看上了我的表情包。

3. You don't love me at all. You just like my expression bag.

4．我暗恋的女生坐在我前排，那天不知道老师是抽风还是什么的，开始讲如何下药让丈夫不明原因猝死。有半年的吃法，1年的吃法，10年的吃法。看着她认真地做笔记的样子，我下定决心和她做好朋友算了。

4. The girl I fell in love with sat in the front row of me. I didn't know whether the teacher was having a fit or something that day. I began to talk about how to prescribe medicine to make my husband die suddenly for unknown reasons. There are six months of eating, one year of eating, and ten years of eating. Looking at her carefully taking notes, I made up my mind to make friends with her.

5．冬天，脚在被窝里每伸向一块新地方，都是一场探险。

5. In winter, it's an adventure to stretch your feet to a new place in the quilt.

6．前几天在网上买手机，店家说绝对正品，假一赔六。今天收到包裹，里面有七台手机

6. A few days ago, when I bought a mobile phone on the Internet, the shop owner said that it was absolutely authentic and that I would pay six for one holiday. I received the package today. There are seven mobile phones in it

7．刚喝了杯星巴克，忘记拍照了，妈的，白喝了！

7. I just had a cup of Starbucks and forgot to take photos. Damn it, it's for nothing!

8．小学时上课爱睡觉。 一次语文课老师布置作业写一篇作文，题目是《假如我是蜘蛛》。下课了问了同学，晚上在家绞尽脑汁，写了一篇轰动全校的《假如我是只猪》。

8. Love to sleep in class in primary school. A Chinese teacher assigned an assignment to write a composition, the title is "if I am a spider.". After class, I asked my classmates, and at home at night, I racked my brains and wrote a blockbuster "if I was a pig".

9．你拽什么？我要是打得过你，你早死了！

9. What are you dragging? If I could beat you, you would have died!

10．古代真好，承受太多压力就会成妖、成神、成魔，而现代，承受太多就会成神经病

10. It's good in ancient times. If you bear too much pressure, you will become a demon, a God and a devil. But in modern times, if you bear too much pressure, you will become a psychopath

11．说实话，我真的挺羡慕你的皮肤的，你说你怎么把它保养的那么厚呢。

11. To be honest, I really envy your skin. How can you maintain it so thick.

12．昨晚初中同学聚会，进包厢之后发现都叫不上来名字，不禁感慨大家的变化都太大了，一坐下来就是喝酒，喝得差不多的时候，出来接了个电话，才发现卧嘈！走错包厢了！

12. Last night, the junior high school students got together and found that they couldn't call their names after entering the box. They couldn't help but feel that everyone's changes were too great. They just sat down and drank. When they had almost drunk, they came out and answered the phone, only to find that they were lying noisy! Wrong box!

13．如果以后不能做你老婆，那就做你老婆的噩梦。

13. If you can't be your wife in the future, it's your wife's nightmare.

14．有些男生连一个女生性格、人品怎么样都不知道，光看一张照片就说喜欢，这不叫喜欢，这叫买菜。

14. Some boys don't know a girl's character or character. Just look at a picture and say they like it. It's not like it. It's called buying vegetables.

15．前世五百次的回眸，却换来今生的一句流氓！

15. Looking back 500 times in the past life, but in exchange for a rogue in this life!

16．别看那么多女孩子玩那个青蛙旅行的游戏玩的兴致勃勃，不亦乐乎，整天儿子儿子叫的亲热的不行，真要在现实生活里放一只青蛙在她们面前，她们连儿子的头都不敢摸一下。

16. Don't look at so many girls playing the frog travel game. They are very happy. All day long, their sons can't call for intimacy. They really want to put a frog in front of them in real life. They dare not even touch their son's head.