QQ搞笑说说 从小到大都这么发说说

1．世界上最痛苦的事就是，从上课憋尿憋到下课老师还拖堂。

QQ搞笑说说

1. The most painful thing in the world is that from the suffocation of urine in class to the teacher's procrastination after class.

2．从小到大，唯一不变的就是一颗不想念书的心。

2. From small to large, the only constant is a heart that does not miss books.

3．毕竟我人长的这么帅，成绩你可不可以漂亮点，跟我般配点成么？

3. After all, I am so handsome. Can you be more beautiful and match me?

4．如果当初牛顿坐在榴莲树下，那我们的物理就容易多了。

4. If Newton had sat under the durian tree, our physics would have been much easier.

5．那天看到你在大街上摔倒了，当时着急的要死，多希望现实能够像网络一样可以在右下角轻轻点个赞。

5. I saw you fall down in the street that day. I was so worried that I wanted to die. I wish the reality could be like the Internet. I could like to like it in the lower right corner.

6．上帝把智慧撒向人间，机智的我撑了把伞。

6. God sprinkles wisdom on the world, and I hold an umbrella.

7．一场英语听力下来，唯一能听懂得就是开始的那几句中文。

7. After an English listening, the only one who can understand is the first few Chinese sentences.

8．据说，你害怕时喊出的人名就是你最爱的人你知道卧槽是谁吗

8. It is said that the name you shout out when you are afraid is your favorite person. Do you know who the sleeping trough is

9．虽然我不会普度众生，但是我会祸害苍生。

9. Although I can't help all living beings, I will harm them.

10．电风扇是人类最好的朋友，我问电风扇我长的丑吗？电风扇默默地摇了一晚上的头。

10. The electric fan is the best friend of mankind. Do I look ugly? The fan shook its head silently all night.

11．很久没看见过你这样好看的人了，长得真像我的意中人。

11. I haven't seen such a good-looking person like you for a long time. He looks like my lover.

12．下辈子我要做你心脏，惹毛了我，我就不跳了。

12. I'll be your heart in the next life. If you offend me, I won't jump.

13．你做过最昧良心的事是什么？帮着学校骗教育局。

13. What is the most unconscionable thing you have ever done? Help the school cheat the Education Bureau.

14．在家里吃饭叫吃饭，在学校吃饭纯粹是为了生存。

14. Eating at home is called eating. Eating at school is purely for survival.

15．不要以为女生所谓的减肥只是嘴上说说而已，她们真的还会发到空间和朋友圈。

15. Don't think that the so-called weight loss of girls is just talking about it on the mouth, they will really send it to the space and circle of friends.

16．我的人生只有两件事不会，就是这也不会，那也不会。

16. There are only two things in my life that won't, that is, neither this nor that.

17．什么是安全感？就是做完题，有学霸念出了和你一样的答案。

17. What is security? Is to finish the question, a learning bully read out the same answer as you.

18．说好一起到白头，你却偷偷焗了油。

18. We agreed to go to the white head together, but you secretly baked the oil.

19．快说些什么夸夸我那个什么，女子无才便是德

19. Say something and boast about me. A woman with no talent is virtuous

20．现在的人，穿个发光鞋就发动态，麻痹我三岁就穿吧唧一踩会亮的鞋子，还一闪一闪五颜六色的，我炫耀过？

20. Now, people can be dynamic when they wear shiny shoes. Paralyzed, when I was three years old, I would wear bright shoes when I stepped on them. I also have a flash of colorful shoes. Did I show off?

21．其实人的长相分为两大类，一类是天生丽质，一类天生励志。

21. In fact, people's looks can be divided into two categories: one is natural beauty, the other is natural motivation.

22．爱迪生与一对情侣去逛街，回家后就发明了电灯泡。

22. Edison went shopping with a couple and came home to invent the light bulb.

23．说说你喜欢吃什么水果吧。洗好的水果，削好的水果，切好的水果。

23. Tell me what fruit you like to eat. Washed fruit, peeled fruit, cut fruit.

24．住在局部地区的人太可怜了，那里几乎天天下雨啊！

24. The people living in some areas are so poor. It rains almost every day!

25．三人行，必有电灯泡。嗯，以后也不要叫电灯泡了，要叫夜空中最亮的星。

25. For three people, there must be a light bulb. Well, don't call the light bulb later. Call the brightest star in the night sky.

26．有没有认真地等过一个人？有啊。谁！公交车司机。

26. Have you ever waited for someone seriously? Yes. Who! Bus driver.

27．挤公交是包含散打，瑜伽，柔道，平衡多种体育健身项目于一体的综合性运动。

27. Bus squeeze is a comprehensive sport that includes Sanda, yoga, judo and balancing various sports and fitness items.

28．我喜欢你这句话有点重，先撂这儿了，你帮我拿一下。

28. I like your sentence a bit heavy. I'll leave it here first. Take it for me.

29．说真的，每次遇到那种不是很好使的感应水龙头，都感觉自己好像要饭的。

29. Seriously, I feel like a beggar every time I encounter the kind of induction faucet that doesn't work very well.

30．如果你犯了错被老师抓住了，就对老师说：老师，你就把我当成一个屁，放了吧。

30. If you make a mistake and are caught by the teacher, say to the teacher: teacher, you take me as a fart, let it go.