搞笑QQ说说大全 啼笑皆非的句子

1．天下没有不散的宴席，但是如果你请客，我可以陪你多吃点。

1. There's no banquet that doesn't go away, but if you treat me, I can accompany you to eat more.

搞笑QQ说说大全

2．一直相信我的闺蜜会变得很有钱，然后包养我，结果，没想到那二货也是这样想的。

2. I always believed that my best friend would become very rich and then support me. As a result, I didn't expect that those two goods would think the same way.

3．那些放肆熬夜的夜晚，终究要用一个起不来床的早上来偿还。

3. Those wanton nights that stay up late will be paid back in the morning when you can't get up.

4．喜欢班上一个女生，向她表白被拒绝了。但我不灰心，知道她喜欢吃甜点，于是我每天都去蛋糕店买点心给她吃，风雨无阻，不管我是生病还是有事，从未间断过。终于有一天，她胖到了180斤。再也没有人追了，我也追到了蛋糕店漂亮的收银员。

4. I like a girl in my class, and I have been rejected. But I'm not discouraged. I know that she likes dessert, so I go to the cake shop to buy dessert for her every day, rain or shine, no matter whether I'm sick or something, I never stop. Finally one day, she gained 180 Jin. No one's chasing me anymore. I've also chased the beautiful cashier in the cake shop.

5．总有一天你会遇到你真正喜欢的人和他的女朋友。

5. One day you will meet someone you really like and his girlfriend.

6．每次有人凶我的时候，我都觉得这个人有毛病，对着这么可爱的我，他居然还能发脾气，无语。

6. Every time someone attacks me, I think there is something wrong with this man. Facing such a lovely me, he can still lose his temper and have no words.

7．嫌对象消息回的慢怎么办？换我，我回得快。

7. What should I do if I don't get back to you? For me, I'll be back soon.

8．每当我遇到极度讨厌的人时，我的脑海里便会浮现出一句上帝又派傻逼来考验你了，然后，一想到这，我也就随之释然了。

8. Every time I meet someone who is extremely annoying, I will come up with a sentence in my mind that God has sent another fool to test you. Then, when I think of this, I will be relieved.

9．我现在做数学题只需要三步：看一遍题、写解、开始哭。

9. Now I only need three steps to do the math problem: read the problem once, write the solution and start crying.

10．永远不要当着父母的面把语音打开，因为你永远不知道对面那二货有多口无遮拦。

10. Never turn on the voice in front of your parents, because you never know how much you can say about those two goods.

11．不愧是我看上的高中，果然没考上。

11. It's worthy of the high school I like. I didn't pass the exam.

12．我在房间里王者荣耀，老婆喊肚子饿，我不理会，她生气的过来往我电脑机箱就是一脚，我草，五排啊！坑队友啊！气的我冲进厨房拿起锋利无比的菜刀，就做了碗刀削面给媳妇吃。

12. I am the king of glory in my room. My wife yells that she is hungry. I don't care. She comes to my computer case angrily. It's just one foot, five rows of grass! Pit teammates! Angry, I rushed into the kitchen and picked up a sharp kitchen knife. I made a bowl of noodles for my daughter-in-law.

13．翻了一下我弟的日记本，爹妈重病6次离婚2次爷爷住院4次，我死了19次。

13. I went through my brother's diary. My parents were seriously ill six times, divorced two times, Grandpa was hospitalized four times, and I died 19 times.

14．如果一个人秒回了你，也只能说明这个人在玩手机而已。

14. If a person returns to you in seconds, it only means that the person is playing with his mobile phone.

15．有人问我狮子和老虎哪个厉害，我想一个烫头的应该是干不过一个有纹身的。

15. Someone asked me which is more powerful, a lion or a tiger. I think a man with a hot head can't do anything but have a tattoo.

16．在餐厅偶遇初中女同学，但是她不记得我了，我便提醒她说：你还记得初中时候，因为和你在小树林亲嘴被处分的那个男生吗？她小脸一红，有些激动的说：难道你就是当时那个我惭愧一笑：没错，我就是当时告密的那个人！

16. I ran into a junior high school girl in the restaurant, but she didn't remember me. I reminded her: do you remember the boy who was punished for kissing you in the woods in junior high school? She blushed and said excitedly, "are you the one I was ashamed to smile at that time? Yes, I was the one who informed at that time!"