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笑话段子大全 世界上最好笑的笑话

  • 2020-06-29 14:37:50
  • 来源:苗苗黑板报
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在食堂碰到极品学哥在发飙。他冲着食堂管理员大骂:“瞅你们那粥什么玩意!戴个口罩都能喝进去! ”

笑话段子大全 世界上最好笑的笑话

In the canteen, I met the best, and my brother Xue was in a rage. He yelled at the Canteen Manager: "look at your porridge! You can drink it with a mask! "

去交警队消违章记录,轮到前面一位大哥。大哥冲着窗口弱弱的问:我分儿不够,怎么买分?里面的Pol.ice一脸懵逼!指着他就说:“给你五秒钟,赶紧消失听见没?你咋不上派出所买枪呢?”

Go to the traffic police to eliminate the violation record. It's the turn of the big brother in front. Big brother to the window weak asked: I am not enough points, how to buy points? Inside Pol.ice The face is muddled! He pointed to him and said, "here you are, five seconds. Disappear. Do you hear me? Why don't you go to the police station and buy guns? "

女子冲上一辆出租车,上气不接下气的喊道:“快!中心医院。。。”这师傅连闯了两个红灯,把女子送到了医院。女子非常激动的说道:“谢谢你,师傅,差一点我这个月满勤就没了。”

The woman rushed into a taxi and shouted out, "hurry up! Central Hospital The master ran two red lights and sent the woman to the hospital. The woman was very excited and said, "thank you, Shifu. I'm almost finished this month."

有一位女同事天天让我请她吃饭,后来我发现他有老公了,我问她你有老公为啥让我每天带你吃饭?她说:“为了让她老公省点钱减轻负担。”我听后二话不说把她按倒。一阵翻云覆雨后,她哭着问我:“为什么这样对她?”我说:“我是为了让你老公减轻点压力省点体力。”你们说我做的对吗?

A female colleague asked me to invite her to dinner every day. Later I found out that he had a husband. I asked her why I took you to dinner every day? "To save her husband some money and lighten his burden," she said After listening to it, I pushed her down without saying a word. After a while, she cried and asked me, "why do you do this to her?" I said, "I'm trying to make your husband less stressed and less physically." Do you think I did it right?

我有个邻居,名字叫朱川,他妈妈每次给他买衣服,都会跟人说这是买给我们家朱川的……

自从我感冒以后,就隔离自己,不和怀二胎的姐姐相遇,免得传染感冒病毒给她。今天一大早我妈妈就打电话开始训斥我,说我把姐姐弄感冒了,我委屈的辩驳:“我压根跟姐姐没见面好吧?! ”我妈:“全家只有你是脱光了称体重!现在你姐每天称个体重都要跟你学着,感冒不怪你怪谁?! ”

Since I had a cold, I isolated myself and did not meet my sister who was pregnant with a second child, so as not to infect her with the cold virus. My mother called me early this morning and began to scold me, saying that I had caught my sister's cold. I argued wrongly, "I didn't see my sister at all, OK?" My mother: "you are the only one in the family who has stripped off and weighed! Now your sister has to learn from you every day when she weighs herself. I don't blame you for catching a cold. Who do you blame? "

小保姆嗓门特别大,主人叮嘱,今晚来的都是有身份的人,说话务必小声一点。吃完饭,主人客人玩牌,小保姆收拾完想早点休息,于是凑近男主人耳边轻声道:“那我先睡了哈。”

The baby sitter's voice is very loud. The master told us that all the people who came here tonight should be quiet. After dinner, the host guest played cards. The baby sitter cleaned up and wanted to have an early rest. So he approached the male host's ear and whispered, "I'll sleep first."

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